Little People and Little joys

In this stage of life there is little rest and little sleep. My little people fight bedtime as if it were the end of their life as they know it. They also fight quiet time. And they are all high energy kids. So all in all, there is no stopping... ever! With that being the case, I am exhausted. I have not had a moment of peace and quiet in a long while (no even now Jackson is whimpering to be released from the "circle of neglect" i.e. the exersaucer, and the girls are supposed to be having quiet time but I hear laughing which means they are probably playing on the top bunk together.) I wonder how big families do it, are their kids perfect? Perhaps they are not quite as high energy? Or maybe they are people-pleasers?

I have had quite a few conversations lately with my mom, and with Adam, and in my own head about how to not only function but how to thrive in this constant state of being needed. My mom encouraged me to make a list of a few things that bring me the greatest joy, so I am taking a few minutes to do that! 

1) One on one time with my kids, they are each so unique. They are my greatest joy by far, things are exciting, smiles are easy, and their personalities are delightful. One-on-one times help me to see those things more clearly, so I value those moments. 

2) Spending time focused on Adam and my relationship, he's a pretty awesome guy. He is funny, and makes me see things in a new way. He is a big dreamer and it is easy to get excited about an idea when he talks about it. (Even if I regret it later... like the dog...)

3) Africa, being in the glorious heat with precious little blessings. My heart overflows with joy and love for the little hands and feet and faces I have met under the hot African sun. Both Uganda and Niger hold fond memories for me and I am anxious to one day return with my family.

4) Youth ministry gets my heart pumping, I love the age of discovering who you are and who God wants you to be. Learning and growing as an individual and being vulnerable and insecure all at the same time. I love watching teens go through that phase and I so long to be a friend, and encourager, and challenger of those years.

5) Since I was a young girl big families have brought me joy. Playing house as a child, I doubt my "family" was ever less than four children. Now we are part of a body of believers where a large homeschool family is a common thing. I don't know if God will bless me with more little ones, or if He does how we will manage... but I selfishly pray He provides little hands to hold, faces to kiss, and patience to teach!

6) Connecting with others is an incredible gift. I was stressed to the max on Sunday morning trying to get everyone fed, dressed and ready for church, finally we made it and moments after worship was finished Jackson started fussing (there was no nursery available). I ended up standing in the foyer talking to some ladies during the service and felt blessed and refreshed just through the chance to be in community.

7) Photographs, both professionally taken and taking pictures myself. I love looking through photos and the experience of learning to capture moments clearly and well.

8) A clean house doesn't specifically bring me joy but it sure brings peace to my soul. It is near impossible to find time to clean my house to the extent I want it, but when it is clean it is a million times easier to enjoy life!
9) Dressing up, I love dresses! I love the chance to wear a dress, do my hair and just "feel pretty". Even if it is for the purpose of a dance party with my little ladies, we have fun!
10) Music in many varieties. I love playing the piano, although my knowledge and abilities are limited. I love singing (especially while driving alone in Adam's RAV4 - it has the best acoustics!) I love listening to music, I love being surrounded my music. Although I am picky about the genres, give me some old fashioned hymns or some songs I can really connect with lyrically. I have three favourite groups The Civil Wars, Alex & Sierra, and Walk Off The Earth. I love the melodies and how each group has fun with their music yet it doesn't sound messy or too "poppy". 

So all that being said, I suppose now I am left to process and see what God does next!

Growing little people

I often think into the future, but I suppose I never expected my sweet little Abbi would get bigger and smarter and more child less baby... I watch and I see a heart of gold, joy beyond belief, and a fierce desire to protect her little sister and brother. This summer at VBS the girls were running around the sanctuary playing with balloons, a little boy close to Abbi's age was pretending to be something mean. At first he roared in her face - she could care less. Next the little boy went to Hope and roared, Hope hardly blinked but Abbi instinctively wrapped her arm around Hope and led her back to "safety." I watched her become a little person. She carries on a complete conversation and she remembers. She knows emotions, she asks why someone is sad or frustrated.

With her first time experiencing VBS, I tried not to be sentimental... to no avail. Wasn't she just a baby? A baby in a scared, young, momma's arms? The year before she was born I was volunteering at VBS, the week before I left for a nine week trip to Uganda. How did all that time pass? How is she old enough to be dropped off and left? Left to make her own friends, left to learn worship songs without me around. How is she old enough to be one of those kids that I used to love playing with and building a friendship with? I did not expect myself to find it as difficult as I do, I didn't think I would struggle not knowing the actions to the songs she comes home singing. But now, two months later, she is still singing the songs and doing the actions. She remembers. She knows. When playing with little disney figures she tells them, "Even when you are afraid, Jesus loves you." Her imagination is extraordinary, and I have no doubt she got that from me! I listen as she plays, her family has a photoshoot, her character's are named Adam and Teressa. We have friends with a large family, the 10 and 14 year olds are her favourite people on earth, she admires them. When did she get old enough to know people aside from family? 

I so desperately want to focus my attention on my precious little ones during these stages. I know it will pass quickly... but I love it! I love seeing the people they are becoming. I love seeing them become more and more independent. As long as they know I am here for them, rooting them on. And more importantly, that Jesus loves them and has a special plan for each of their days.